Games

Chicks Dig the Long Ball

Awarded to the team member hitting the most spectacular, awe-inspiring drives. 'Cuz chicks dig the long ball...

2009: Newcomer How-itzer for consistently bombing the ball a looooong way. Most impressive was his drive on Deacon's #7, which was a 250+ yards full carry over scrub and waste area to leave him with an easy wedge into the green. Honorable mention must be made of Far Can's (now Far Cannon) extra length off the tee, which won him a couple of the long-drive holes on the weekend (must by the free Enzyte he's been taking).

2008: not awarded

2007: Just A FB for his increased length off the tee this year; apparently lessons can even help the good golfers...

2006: not awarded

2005: not awarded

2004: no notable standouts this year, although Lippy FB, Just A FB and occasionally Snippy FB were hitting some fairly long drives

2003: Lippy FB for consistently smashing his drives on 15 past the sand traps

2002: Lucky FB retains the award, although with much less frequency than his 2001 effort

2001: Lucky FB for his several 260 – 280 drives

You the Man, Cool Guy

Awarded to the team member who in true John Daly fashion best exhibits excess drunkenness and debauchery, or at least does something memorable (usually stupid). Past winners include:

2009: awarded to Honest FB (aka Far Can Joe) and close runner-up Just A FB for mixing up the adding and subtracting and mistakingly awarding the FB Handicap Challenge to the third place finisher

2008: no real standouts this year, although honorable mention should be made of Stinky's mastery at the blackjack tables and All-In's Ace at Wilderness 17

2007: awarded to Honest FB (aka far Can Joe) for his amazing driving prowess on Legend #11 (that's cart-driving, not driving the ball...)

2006: awarded to Fascist FB for his Academy-Award winning “performance” in not getting a speeding ticket; the over-acting was quite certainly not believable, but he must have won points for audacity

2005: awarded to Short-Naked FB for his repeated playing of holes with his pants down and being MIA on Saturday evening; perhaps something to do with the “beerzooka” he brought with him. A close second would be his “partner in crime”, Stinky FB, for also being MIA Saturday evening.

2004: awarded to Stinky FB for not only playing a hole with his “pants down”, but for also playing with his shorts on his head.

2002: awarded to Fascist FB for his unsuccessful attempt to eat three steaks in addition to his regular meal on Friday evening

2001: awarded to Fascist FB for his late-night explanation to Wendy of capitalism and "how the world works". Runner up to Lucky FB for his "ladies man" approach to meeting women

2000: awarded to Lucky Fat Bastard for calling the waitress to come to the Fat Bastard's room and make them shooters with their own booze. Particular mention must be made of the fact that Lucky left a message for Bobbie while she was on her break to come back for round two (which she did)

1999: awarded to Fascist Fat Bastard for sleeping overnight in the dining room after being locked out of the hotel room

1998: awarded to Stinky Fat Bastard for "sleeping" on the pool table and having Ailsa the bartender shoot the cue ball off of his mouth

1997: awarded to Stinky for parking in the 15-minute courtesy parking overnight with the doors to the Mustang open

1996: and previous we don’t remember

Animal Skins Shooterama

This is an event we've tried off and on over the years. The event is loosely based on a game called Animal Skins (trademarked by Animal Skins International). There are 6 tokens, to be awarded as follows

Beach Boy: Ball lands in a sandtrap

Water Boy: Ball lands in a water hazard

Deep Woods: Ball lands in the bush or out of bounds

Three-putt Nancy: Requiring three or more putts on any hole

Snowman: Requires eight (or more) strokes to complete any hole

Pants Down: Tee shot doesn't travel farther than the ladies tee marker. The player must also play their next shot with their pants down.

The player receiving a token keeps the token until another player commits one of the above infractions, who will then receive the token from the previous holder.

Now here's where the real penalties come into play. Holders of each token at the end of each nine holes kick in a penalty as follows; $1 for each of Beach Boy, Water Boy and Deep Woods; $2 for each of Three-putt Nancy and Snowman; and $3 for Pants Down.

Jäg Shootout (aka Crantastic Shootout)

This unique event takes place on every par 3 hole. All participants play their tee shot and the shot closest to the pin loses (or wins, depending on your perspective); the players whose tee shot isn't closest to the pin have to down a shot of liquor before their next tee shot. If the shot closest to the pin is off the green then they have a shot too. In the inaugural year of this event we used Crantasia liquor, hence the original name of this event. Since then, we've used an appropriately named Broken Down Golf cart liquor, Ciclón, a variety of Sour Puss liquors, and most recently, Jägermeister. 2008 continued the Jag tragition, but also added a twist with use of imported Brazilian cachaca (labeled Banana Liqeur). Apparently in Brazil, “banana” means “gasoline”. I think “cachaca” is the sound you make as you gag trying not to vomit after you've had a swig.